This is where I’m going. I can’t wait.
February is getting closer and I’m starting to get nervous. This is real as can be. I’m over halfway through my plan, I can’t stop now. I’ve tried so many things, only to backtrack in fear. That, I cannot allow myself to do again.
I’ve only a few expenses to pay off here before I can say I’m ready. I should have enough savings ready by then. I should be prepared in time.
I don’t know why I keep having to tell myself these things. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve always had a bed, a bathroom, a house. I don’t know what I could be afraid of, being uncomfortable? That’s the only real danger out there, provided I’m spiritually fit.
I worry that I’m not as aware or mindful or as compassionate as I could be, that my partying is distracting me, that I’m leaving for the wrong reasons now. Here at home, I’ve seen a lot of suffering lately. I ask myself if I’m leaving because I’m disappointed in my peers? Certainly not, I wouldn’t want to go to LA to try to escape suffering in Minneapolis.
The suffering is not new, the anger and confusion is not new, it’s always been there. I’m more aware of it now; and now I’m further convinced that the best thing I can do for all is to journey to conquer it.
It was actually a year ago tomorrow that this all got started. Tomorrow marks a year of being single and learning about myself. A year of escaping suffering. The difference between then and now is unreal. I remember last year still very clearly. It’s been the most incredible and life-altering experience I could have ever asked for.
Anyway I made some new music with the new gear. I’m going to try to line up at least a full live 2 hours to have prepared before I leave. This one is pretty popular.
So, I’m getting ready to leave MN for a while.
I guess it started almost a year ago. I had dropped out of college, was depressed, unmotivated, and recently had been dumped. I was miserable, and had made a cliche new years resolution to change my life by any means necessary.
Well here’s the end of 2012 and I’ve exceeded my own expectations. In fact, I’ve done so well that I’ve decided to go exploring america to find more change. This decision has not been made in haste, and was inspired by the many individuals I’ve met through the last year who have taken similar paths.
I’m starting by going out west. I have a friend out there who’s going to meet me and show me how to live in LA without a home.
Oh yeah, I’m going to be homeless too.
The plan is to take off after mid-February. I have a vehicle to live in, some savings, and some new tools to make/perform music with. I’ve been composing and making music for years, and that seems the most practical means to survive. From time to time I’ll promote my sounds through here.
The purpose of this blog is to chronicle what happens from here on out, and to demonstrate the flexibility of life on earth.
Rough Cut - Before it All Fell Apart.
i # hiphop